The rise of platonic co-parenting

It sounds like the kind of fantasy you’d dream up with your childhood best friend: Let’s live together and raise each other’s kids as siblings. But, for a growing number of millennials, it’s becoming a reality.

It takes a village: Some single-parent besties are moving in together after breaking up with their spouses, while others are deciding to (platonically) have children with longtime friends or like-minded nontraditionalists, sometimes using new apps that are like Hinge for co-parenting:

• NPR journalist Ayesha Rascoe told The Cut that she and her college best friend bought a house together, saving thousands of dollars on mortgages and nannies by raising their collective five children together (a setup that’s sometimes called a “mommune.”)
• Then, there are the friends with ticking biological clocks who choose to have children together—a movement that’s given rise to apps like Modamily, which connects people who want to start a family via dating, sperm donation, or platonic co-parenting. Users surged from 30,000 in 2020 to 100,000 last year, the New York Times reported.

People in these nontraditional situations often rave about them, in part because of the lack of romance. Without pressure to keep the spark alive, making child-rearing decisions and divvying up household tasks can feel less intense, some platonic co-parents say. So, go ahead and remind the group chat about those commune plans.—ML